My Pet Peeves

Naggers

People who make personal remarks

I-know-it-all people who monopolize conversations

People who get some kind of pleasure in pointing out others mistakes

Bhajan singers- the ones on the train

Oversmart a******s

People who smoke in public places

Relatives who love to lecture

Couples who indulge in indecent behaviour in public places viz. trains buses...If you are so unable to control your raging hormones rent a hotel room and do whatever you want to.

People who love to discuss Shitsvilla day in and day out.

People who ask you your salary- directly or indirectly.

Raghu Ram

Ekta Kapoor

SRK

Being all ears

When I finally stepped off the train at Andheri, I congratulated myself on my iron self-control. After all, I had spent the entire journey from Malad clinging desperately to the rail by the entrance of the compartment, gazing into the distance with a studiedly blank expression on my face, chanting (in my head) this mantra: “I will not laugh. I will not laugh. I will not laugh” and I was so distracted, I was convinced I was going to fall off the train.
That's because I had spent the whole journey eavesdropping on a conversation between two college students. One of them had the most convoluted love life I'd ever come across outside a television soap opera, and I had been so entertained by his account of it and her friend's earnest advice, that I had completely forgotten about the book in my bag - a murder mystery at that! — that I had planned to finish on the train.
I was not at all perturbed about the fact that I was eavesdropping — a dirty, slimy and distinctly un-gentlemanly thing to do, according to Enid Blyton. I was only concerned about the fact that I should not be caught doing it. Hence the “I will not laugh” mantra; hence my self-congratulation on arrival at Andheri. I had not laughed so, once again, my fellow citizens in Mumbai had provided me with free amusement.
“Watching (and listening to) the world go by,” was how I usually described this inclination. My fascination for eavesdropping began after watching the movie 'Following'...in which the actor goes about following random and interesting people he sees around so that he can put them up as characters in his novel.So the next fine morning I wake up and think " Why not try this for a day. Doesn't seem to be dangerous..." And what better place to start this great deed than in a local train which is so frequently used by me.
It’s easy to be an eavesdropper in Mumbai. Lack of space in this crowded city means we’re all practically sitting in each other’s laps anyway, so tuning into the conversations of random strangers requires no effort at all. I’ve eavesdropped while standing in line, at restaurants ,at malls ,on trains and buses, at cinemas and theatres , Some of this eavesdropping is inadvertent, but there are times when I deliberately go out of my way to flap my ears in some strangers’ direction which I continued for a week.
You hear the most interesting and entertaining things, some of which can keep you happy for years. For instance, to this day, my friend and I can relate almost verbatim a conversation we overheard nearly five years ago at Vrindavan in Andheri, between a child and his parents where the child was desperately trying to convince his dad to apologise to him and his mom because he had farted .All learnings of good-manners and behaviour that he had gathered over the years were thrown back at the poor man. We just leapt off our seats, paid the bill and shot off to collapse, laughing hysterically.
You get more than free entertainment when you’re eavesdropping. You get useful advice too, even if it hasn’t actually been directed at you. If you don't believe me just ask the person who invests in shares as to where from does he get those useful tips(I said just 'ask' follow this at your own risk). Standing in line to enter the auditorium a couple of weeks ago at an auditorium, I overheard what seemed to be members of one family earnestly arguing about the best seats in the auditorium. The advantages and disadvantages of seats right in the middle of the top row and right in the middle of the bottom-most row (the seats on the sides were completely dismissed) were listed and dispassionately weighed against each other. Eventually a consensus was reached — the middle of the bottom-most row was judged the absolute best section in the auditorium. When the doors were finally opened, that’s where the family headed. Closely followed by me.
And it’s thanks to eavesdropping that I recently had the finest Pulaos of my life at Brittania Cafe I was waiting, bored, for a friend, when I listened to a very small but highly opinionated young lady telling her friend exactly what she wanted to eat. It sounded excellent so I just had to quietly note down the address when she was giving it to her friend, I just had to talk to a few friends about this who somehow knew about this place. It was the best meal I had had in ages. I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t eavesdropped.
But a small conversation I once had with my friend totally changed my idea about eavesdropping. I had always known it was bad to hear to someone's private conversations but thought 'What the heck who cares'.What really hurts is when you are on the receiving end...Just imagine...you are in a bus or train and the person with you is talking unabashedly(read bitching)about his very very special friend constantly referring to him/her as Chhava/item throwing her the choicest cuss words and off course totally oblivious of the fact that there are 10 other people listening to this supposedly juicy conversation and one amongst them is an uncle or aunty living in your neighbourhood. Just the look on their face is enough to know what they now think about you. As my friend put it 'Ijjat ki dhajjiyaan ud jaati hain'.So that is where I decided to stop this habit of flapping my ears around.